we'll do it when...

Topher and I fell victim to "when"ing.  We'll get engaged when...we'll get married when...we'll get a dog when.....we'll have kids when....we'll buy a house when...    These "whens" simply put off the things we want. We try to justify that somehow there is a fated, destined time for each of these blessed events.  I hate to break it to the blogging world- I don't think there is ever going to be a better "when."

The first two "whens" happen to just be what Topher and I grappled with. We couldn't get engaged yet!  We were in college....then we were recent grads...then we were living an hour apart...then I was a miserable first year teacher...  After all of these "thens" we bit the bullet (how romantic) and got engaged in July of 2008, despite there being a number of more "whens" we could think of.

It came down to the simple fact that we seemed to be putting off something we both knew we wanted- each other, forever.  (Here's a napkin to wipe the cheese off your fingers for reading that).

Once he had slipped that ring on my finger, we faced the second when.  We told ourselves we'd set the wedding for nearly two years in the future.  I said "we'll plan the wedding when I'm done teaching" and he said "we'll plan the wedding when I've completed my master's program."

So, that year came and went.  I stressed out that second year of teaching, I completed my teaching commitment, and I stopped working seven am to five pm every day, and all day Sunday.  Then I got a job at a fast paced education nonprofit.  And I started this job immediately- as in, the very day after the last day of school.  Since this past June, I have had a total of 4 vacation days- all taken to fly to my best friends' weddings.   I work sixty hour weeks on a pretty regular basis, I commute a total of three hours each day, and I usually have at least three work events each month that require either a weekend work day or a late night.  On top of this, Topher now commutes 45 minutes each way and we adopted a puppy (didn't "when" that one, did we?)

The morale of this story, friends, is this: there will never be the perfect "when" for all of life's major events.  While I feel like I have more time to devote to wedding planning now that I'm not teaching anymore, I still work incredibly long hours and have to find time to make it work.  So, stop "when"ing, and just do it- start planning, adopt that puppy, go house hunting- hell, buy that new car you want.  It's the perfect economic climate, right?

Anyone else find yourself"when"ing your wedding or other life plans? Do you agree with me or have a differing view?